Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
