Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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