i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
