Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
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The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
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maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize