I will die if light touches me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I have fence marks all over my body
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
