I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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