Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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