he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
