Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
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Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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