Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
