I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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