ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
