Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
