Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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