i just had sex bonerless
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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