$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
