So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
