i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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