I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
