I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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