Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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