Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
