I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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