Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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