Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize