sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
