Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize