**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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