He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm at about main and main street
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize