sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dear god my vagina.
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