do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
