If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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