Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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