I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
