and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The power of my boobs compel you
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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