we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
