My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
