I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
