fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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