so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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