Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
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I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
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So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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