small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
