cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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