ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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