I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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