So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
