Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
