Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
