I hope mine doesn't look like that
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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