Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
