I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
