I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
