So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
