wake up i wanna do it froggy style
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
