hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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