Small penises have feelings too.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
