She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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