He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
