maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
