someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize